Bittersweet

I can't understand after 5 years of waiting how 10 months can go by so quickly. The first few months we were in such a fog with a new baby, a husband out of work and a 5 day long trip to the hospital after being bit by a ferocious Missouri (Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever) tick. Once Wes went back to work and I quit my job to stay home I thought time would slow down but it has not. I look at pictures from Ethiopia and tear up at the wonderful growth that has taken place in our little man.

If you didn't know Luke has had a lot trouble attaching. It has been heartbreaking for us to watch. When our baby has an ear infection he does not want us but instead he wants his bed or a bottle the only source of comfort he had for 8.5 long months. He does not like to be held and as a matter of fact it makes him fidget with anxiety most of the time. If he goes too long without eating his brain snaps back into starvation mode and he will eat until he is sick. a large crowd makes him turn into a wild man that can't control himself. In the first 6 months we just thought that this is how babies were....it is not so. We are doing everything in our power to educated those around us but even to them it sometimes makes no sense. However it is very apparent to mom and dad when Luke is "freaking out" inside. We are doing 100% attachment style parenting and we even bumped it up a bit in the last few weeks. The last few days we are starting to get more eye contact and finally has started giving us hugs. Today when a parent came to pick out their child (from my in home daycare) Luke ran to me and held on tight....we are getting there. We have other attachment issues that we are working on but today was a wonderful break through.

Luke has also fallen head over heals in love with Da Da. Friday when Wes got home from work Luke ran to him and gave out a big hug. When Wes put him down to go change his clothes Luke ran screaming across the room and laid on the floor crying. Might sound a bit ridicules to you but to us it was another wonderful break through!

So I realized today that while my baby is leaving and my toddler is arriving that it is bittersweet...Although I rarely got to hold and snuggle my sweet baby, I do get to see the progress of Patience and love break down the orphan walls that Luke brought home with him....